Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
