yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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