I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
