I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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