so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
