Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
