already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
