I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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