I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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