alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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