Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
