and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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