All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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