508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
