maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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