I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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