just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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