i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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