sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
