U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
