Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
