I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
