He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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