Just took my morning after pill in the library
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
