i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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