I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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