even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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