Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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