I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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