Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
