She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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