My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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