It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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