My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
