oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
