my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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