Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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