K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
