If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
