And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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