We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
