oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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