Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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