Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
