does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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