Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
