I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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