Small penises have feelings too.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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