Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
