He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
