I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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