They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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