that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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