at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
