hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
