rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
