She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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