my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
