I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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