Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
