I need help removing her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize