I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
