After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
