hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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