Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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