If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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