where am i from again
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
